Confession

I know I tend to boast about diving in head first, being fearless, stepping into the oncoming traffic, etc. But…. I have a confession to make. I may have this goal of being unafraid and strapping on my big girl pants to face the world, but there are times when I (I really hate to admit this by the way) get scared. *sigh* I know, I know, you expected more from me.

For the past couple months I have been working on a new project (no idea when that launch date will be but it’s coming!) and I am starting to get to the point where, to put it eloquently, shit is gettin real. At this point one would think I would be nothing but excited. Right now, I am nothing but terrified. This project is something near and dear to my heart but it means putting my opinions out into the professional world.

I am going to be putting a lot of work into this project. Hours of research and writing will be dedicated to this on top of Time for Renewal and my 40 hr/week job (so long social life…). Though I am very passionate about the topic, I am starting to worry. What if no one cares? What if no one reads what I put out there? Or even worse, what if no one likes what I put out there? What if nothing comes of it despite all the time and effort I put into it? And on and on the questions and doubts go.

I am struggling putting these fears and doubts aside. I can’t seem to completely ban them from my mind. Then more worries pile on about the fears and doubts preventing me from moving forward. Then more worries about the fact that I am worrying about being afraid which I really shouldn’t be because being afraid is the opposite of being strong. Do you see the downhill spiral?!

On the other hand, doubts and fears are  part of being human right? These doubts and fears remind us not to do whatever the hell pops into our brains. For example, this is what I see happening in my brain (just in case you need further explanation):

Impulse: “Gosh I wonder what ghost chiles taste like. I should try one.”

Doubts and Fears: “That doesn’t seem like a good idea. Those are really spicy and you might cause yourself a lot of unnecessary pain.”

Impulse: “Good point, let’s scratch this whole idea and eat some ice cream.”

(Yes, I had my coffee this morning. Lots of it.)

The key is not letting the fear and doubt take over and hinder your goals. At least that’s my logic. It’s one thing to be fearful of doing something that will physically or emotionally cause you intense pain or discomfort. It’s a whole different animal to let doubt and fear prevent you from reaching for your goals and dreams.

I’m thinking these doubts and fears are just looking for some encouragement and a hug. Then they can relax for a minute until they decide to pop up again at another inopportune moment. Yesterday I was lucky enough to receive a bit of unsolicited support from my mentor that boosted my excitement and pushed me to get back on track. It was exactly what I needed and, even though my doubts and fears are still rumbling around in my head, they have lost their momentum. I know they’ll be back, but for right now I can happily live without them discouraging me completely.

An important thing to remember is that doubts and fears will always be with you. Therefore you have to learn how to calm them and not allow them to drive your life. Yes, you can let those natural instincts creep up when they are telling you to flee from something, but don’t allow them to have ultimate power over your life.

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows” – Japanese Proverb

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One thought on “Confession

  1. Pingback: The Fear of Starting a New Blog - Blogging FearlesslyBlogging Fearlessly

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